Love Begins with Listening

The main kanji are the "kiku" (listen) from the kanji for "newspaper" and the "kiku" (listen) from the kanji for "visual and audiovisual." "Kiku" is a little passive and corresponds to the English word "hear." The kanji is well-written and means to listen with the small "ears" inside the "gate" that is oneself. In other words, isn't it a one-sided way of listening where you turn away things you don't want to hear? On the other hand, the "kiku" from the kanji for "visual and audiovisual" is a more active way of listening and corresponds to the English word "listen." This kanji is also well-written and has a large ear radical. Does it mean listening with a large "ear" that is close by? And to the right of it is the "heart" from "jushi" (fourteen). No matter what the other person says, it is a way of listening where you accept it flexibly with the "heart" from "jushi" (fourteen). If you can "listen" in this way, it is truly "love."

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).

When a child draws a portrait of his/her mom or dad, he/she always draws a big mouth that takes up half of the face, but never draws ears. A psychologist analyzed the drawing and said, "This child is complaining, 'My mom or dad only nags me, but never listens to me or what I have to say.'" The child unconsciously draws a big mouth, but never draws ears.

It is said that "Love begins with listening." But that doesn't mean you should just listen. By the way, there are two kanji characters: "kiku" (listen) from the kanji for "shinbun" (newspaper), and "kiku" (listen) from the kanji for "keishou" (visual and audiovisual). The "kiku" from the kanji for "shinbun" (newspaper) is a somewhat passive way of listening, and is equivalent to the English word "hear." Is it something like "you can hear it?" The kanji for "kiku" is also well-written, and it means to listen with the small "ears" inside the "gate" that is yourself. In other words, if there is something you don't want to hear, you turn it away.

Love is listening

On the other hand, the kanji for "listen" in "listening" is a more active way of listening, and corresponds to the English word "listen." It gives the image of listening intently. The kanji for "listen" is also well-constructed, with a large ear radical, so does it mean listening with your ears perked up? And on the right side is the "heart" of "jushi" (fourteen), so no matter what the other person says, it is a way of listening where you take it in flexibly with the "heart" of "jushi" (fourteen). If we could "listen" in this way, wouldn't that truly be "love"?

There is a poem by an unknown author called "Listen to Me." It goes like this: "When I ask you to listen to me, you start giving me advice. I don't want that. When I ask you to listen to me, you start telling me the reasons. I feel sorry, but it makes me uncomfortable. When I ask you to listen to me, you feel like you have to somehow solve my problems. Strangely enough, this goes against my feelings. Is that why some people find comfort in prayer? Because God is silent. He doesn't give advice or try to adjust. He just listens, and leaves you to solve your problems. So please, too, be quiet and listen to me. If you want to talk, just wait a little while until I finish. Then I will definitely listen to you."

Love begins with listening. ... First of all, I would like to start by listening carefully to what the other person has to say. May God's peace be abundantly upon you who have read this to the end. Shalom!

Ochanomizu Church of Christ 　Yoshiya Noguchi